Help! You know I need somebody…

23 Aug

I admit:  I am not good at asking for help.  I feel guilty for making people go out of their way to do something for me that I can probably do myself, but am either failing at or haven’t had time for.  I feel a bit embarrassed to ask for help, as if I’m not capable.  I’m certain this goes back to school, too.  Maybe I’d be better at math if I’d have asked for more help.  (But probably not).  I think most of the time I don’t even realize that I should ask for help because I’m so used to just trying to do everything myself. 

Luckily, I have wonderful people in my life who recognize when I’m struggling and just step in without being asked.  The past couple of weeks, these people have helped to keep me sane and in touch with reality.  They’ve helped me realize that I will make it through Ella’s struggles and that I’m doing a good job.  I want to thank these people right now.

My lovely husband.  Even though I know you get frustrated when Ella wakes up in the middle of the night, I appreciate you trying to comfort her and taking her when I am exhausted.  I love that she will snuggle with you and that her favorite place to sleep is on your chest.  Thank you for being there when she got sick because of the eggs and for cleaning up and helping me not freak out too much.  I am glad you are strong and such a great Daddy.  

Momma.  I can’t begin to imagine how hard it must have been to have three little kids, especially if they weren’t sleeping, and working so hard.  I admire you so much for all that you have done for me, and I appreciate your love for Ella.  I am so grateful that you are near.  I don’t know how we’d make it without you sometimes.  Thank you for picking up Benadryl for my sick baby and for bringing her some bedtime snuggle toys.  I hope they help her sleep, but even if they don’t, it means so much to me that you went out of your way to help us like that.  I love you, and so does Ella Kate.

Dad.  Thank you for listening to me.  I appreciate your ears and your patience for my frustrations and anxiety about my baby.  It’s hard to listen to your child scream (I know you know this) but having someone to remind you that it will be okay and that you’re doing the right thing is very reassuring.  Thank you for playing with Ella, too.  She loves all of your silly noises and faces, and she loves to play your piano.  

Just for the record, sometimes being a parent SUCKS.  Being up from 10 pm-1 am with an inconsolable child is not fun or rewarding.  Thankfully, there are people in my life who have helped me through some of these sucky times.  And, for all of the sucky times, there are thousands of amazing ones.  

Thank you for helping me, even when I don’t ask.  

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